I'm t i r e d

Thanks to everyone for all the encouragement after my last post!

It's just like old times; I started working from home three weeks ago. Snickers lays next to my desk and keeps me company. Going in to the office was too much for me. At home I'm able to take breaks and there is far less walking. I'm doing GoToMeeting video conferences and phone calls to stay connected to my projects.

I'm still very tired though. It's a tired that I can't even describe. My body is working so hard to continually heal itself from radiation and every day we zap it again. My nurse described radiation treatment as being as taxing as running five miles everyday. And for me, who is not a runner, that's saying something!

My skin has moved beyond irritated and is now angry. It's a lot like a bad sunburn except that there isn't the hot feeling. It's more itchy and generally uncomfortable, and definitely sensitive to friction! It is amazing that the treatment is so precise. There is a perfect square that runs from my sternum to my armpit down my side, over and back up. It's definitely 'whole breast' treatment. This week though, they have changed to targeting just the area where my cancer was.

It's still a challenge to get enough good calories and nutritious snacks. My dad suggested protein shakes (props to dad!) so I've been drinking the new Ensure Clear blueberry pomegranate drinks. Not chalky and I actually have gotten to like them.

I'm in the home stretch - only 4 treatments left! We are planning on having the kids come with to the last treatment. Roger Maris Cancer Center has a bell mounted by the front door. After your last treatment, you get to ring the bell. Everyone there knows about the bell and they all start clapping. I can't wait until it's my turn!

Crappy week

There's no way around it, over it, or under it; only through it. It is painful, emotionally and physically exhausting, and harder than anything ever encountered before. It brings self-doubt, and guilt for things that can't be done and wishes that cannot be granted. It steals precious time that cannot be regained. It is cancer and it sucks.

Radiation Update

9th treatment completed today. If you do the math, I'm 30% done!

I have some tenderness and skin irritation but it isn't too bad. Soft clothing that doesn't rub my underarm is the only accommodation that I have had to make. I'm big into lotions and ointments though!

My body is still working hard to heal from the surgeries and now it is working to repair itself from the radiation treatment. I discovered (the hard way) that eating enough makes a huge difference in how I feel. It needs fuel and I'm trying to make good food choices by keeping a lot of fruits and vegetables around.

I've done a little bit of walking on the treadmill, but after working and doing a few things around the house, I'm ready for bed at the same time as Joshua! I do take a few minutes to do some exercises for my shoulder and a couple other stretches, but I've been warned about trying to do too much while I'm still doing treatment. I'll be done soon enough and then I can focus on rebuilding my stamina and muscle mass! 

I will not be radioactive and other things to know about radiation

Interesting meeting with the nurse to discuss upcoming radiation treatments. First, Todd and I watched a lovely video created circa 1986 covering all the key points of radiation. I think the socks-and-sandals-look of the guy in the video was for dramatic purposes, but I could be wrong.

Then we talked with the nurse and went through some documentation. Two key points from this she was kind enough to emphasize:

1. You will not be radioactive from having the treatment;
2. If you smell something funny during treatment, it is the machine. It is not your flesh burning. 

This really left me with one nagging question - Who are the people that need to be told these two things? 

The primary side effects are skin irritation and fatigue, but both shouldn't start until about two weeks into treatment. The fatigue is from the body trying to heal itself. The radiation creates free radicals that attack the cells being treated. Cancer cells cannot repair themselves, so they die. Normal cells begin to repair themselves between treatments. With the number of treatments, the normal tissue has a tough job.

I start radiation treatments on Wednesday, February 27th. There will be 30 treatments; 5 days per week.  I will be done with treatment on April 9th!

Oh Joy!

I cannot begin to express how relieved I am that I do not need chemotherapy! The Oncotype DX test came back and my cancer was in the low-risk category. I called to make an appointment to have my hair cut and colored on the way home from my appointment with my oncologist. ;-) Emotionally so much better than shopping for a wig!

The next step in treatment is radiation. This is still recommended to ensure that all of the cancer cells in the breast are eradicated. I have an appointment on February 15^th to kick off this process. It includes an appointment with a nurse for some education and then a simulation to find and mark the area to radiate. It could include a CT Scan, an x-ray, or both. The process takes about an hour. I don’t yet know when the treatment will start.

I also need to take a drug named Arimidex for five years. I know – that’s a long time. The prescription arrived today but I don’t have to start taking it until after radiation is finished. Dr. Gitau said that it is easier to identify side effects of the radiation and the medication if not doing them at the same time. And in the grand scheme of things, waiting 5 weeks (+ or -) won’t affect anything.

Time to start thinking about going back to work! This makes me a little nervous because I have so little stamina for sitting. I feel as if I am behind in rebuilding endurance due to having the second surgery and then tearing the sutures. The appointment with my OB/GYN on Monday will hopefully shed some light on the subject.

I have been out and about a little bit this week – ALL BY MYSELF! Target and I were reacquainted yesterday. I think I heard angels singing as I walked in the door…

I am doing well and in good spirits knowing that I am very close to putting this treatment behind me.

Overdue Post!

Wow! I can't believe that it is already January 27th! On January 16th I had a second surgery to clean up the margin in one area of my breast. That surgery was successful. Step 1 of treatment is finally done!

I got very sick from the sedation used during the surgery. It was different drugs than used during the general anesthesia I had for the first surgery. I had an appointment on the 17th with Dr. Gitau, my oncologist, that I wasn't going to miss. The appointment consisted of me puking and getting an IV! But I did get some more valuable information, if not all the information that I was expecting that day.

The pathology further classified my breast cancer as mucinous carcinoma. It is a rare form of breast cancer that is typically only found in older women that are post-menopausal.  It also tends to be a less aggressive form that responds well to treatment and is less likely to spread to lymph nodes than other invasive breast cancer. Mucinous means that the cancer cells are surrounded by mucin - if you're thinking mucus, you are right!

I'm still waiting to find out whether I will have chemotherapy. The Oncotype DX test needed was not ordered until I saw Dr. Gitau on 1/17. The results are supposed to be back when I see him again on February 1st. As I talked about in my post in November, the test determines chance of recurrence for early stage, estrogen-receptor positive breast cancer. Since it was also determine in surgery that I had DCIS, the test also determines the likelihood of recurrence of DCIS or new invasive cancer. It additionally, helps determine the likelihood of benefitting from radiation and chemotherapy.

Physically, I was doing ok until Wednesday when I tore some internal sutures in my breast. It was, and still is, very painful. My surgeon checked me out and sent me to the ER to make sure it wasn't anything else; it all came up clear. Dr. Bouton says I've got some pissed off, injured tissue in there that now needs to heal.  I've been set back to square one for healing.

I felt good enough to go to the Sundog 2013 kickoff meeting on Friday and even went to the holiday party for a little while. It was great to see so many of my great co-workers in person. The hugs were awesome! I was pretty tired on Saturday but made it out to one of Sarah's basketball tournament games.

Next steps: I check in with Dr. Bouton again Tuesday morning to make sure that the injury is getting better. Then Friday afternoon I will hopefully have my next step set. More to come...

Surgery 2.0

Last week when Dr. Bouton opened me up, he found the Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (tumor) that he expected and it was smaller than originally thought. Yay! But he also found a 5cm area of Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS) radiating around the tumor. Boo! If you remember from an earlier post, the cancer started in the duct but grew through the wall of the duct and started invading the surrounding breast tissue. The DCIS is the same cancer but grows along the pathway of the duct without breaking through the wall.

Long story short, I have two kinds of breast cancer. But it doesn’t change anything.

The pathology of the tumor and DCIS looks for the clean margin of healthy tissue. At one end section of one the ducts, there wasn’t a clean margin. Next Wednesday I will have a second surgery to clean up that area. It will only require sedation, Dr. Bouton will open up the existing incision, and I will be home the same day. Then we wait another week for the pathology to ensure a clean margin again.

The pathology on the lymph nodes removed found a few cancer cells but based on the ratio of bad to good cells, the nodes were still technically clear. I’m not sure how that works but I’m good with it! So the staging of the cancer remains the same as before, 1A.